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Water Cooler SuicideThat’s how I want it to end. A footnote on the back of a crappy newspaper, a short report by some faggot with a bad comb over on the morning news. Something everyone would discuss that day at work and start their day off thinking about the uselessness of their own existence. A real water cooler suicide. If you want to be remembered, you have to go out with a bang, people judge a story solely on it’s ending. You have to give them what they want, blood, sex and controversy. The more embarrassing the better! Most people can’t remember the singer from INXS’ name, but we all know he was found in a hotel room hanging from his own belt with his limp dick in hand as a result of an over zealous game of autoerotic asphyxiation. If he only managed to cum a bit faster, he might still be alive and we’d probably all have forgotten about him by now. He has attained the status of a legend through one final, disgusting, self-gratifying, quasi-suicidal, carnal act. It doesn’t matter what you accomplish in life, as long as you give them something to talk about when you die. I want to be remembered for one single stupidity I committed, and completely forgotten for who I really was. |